My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
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If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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