i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
