we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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