There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
that is very illegal...i love you.
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