What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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