Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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