you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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