I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
