I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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