so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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