Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can I color on your dick again?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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