That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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