So drunk its hurt
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
