nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
