u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
