OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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