I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
bring money and cleavage
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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