oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
