Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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