I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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