I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
