Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
