fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
