honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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