i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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