You're my little dorito
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
