we're blogging at a bar
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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