Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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