I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
