yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
