I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize