yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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