my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
