i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere