Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize