i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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