I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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