Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
this will be a night to untag.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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