I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
