I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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