I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
