is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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