A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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