I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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