When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
