after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
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I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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