I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
