Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
