Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
