is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
