everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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