He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize