i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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