For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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