Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
