I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
