Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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